Friday, December 30, 2005 / Friday, December 30, 2005
had a fattenin supper juz nw. argh.no 1's at hme. sis went thailand. =( didnt even bothered to ask me along tt time when she book ticks. arghh..hw evil....she's pretendin tt she dun noe i am havin my holi now..mum dunno disappeared to whr. same goes to dad. finally i am hme b4 any1...haha..yay. gona suan my mum latr fer reachin hme so 'early'.
ok..my music is damn loud nw...haha...i hada do tt to overcome tt fear of 'nobody's at hme except me.' eeeew..she's in red today! hurr...the colour is soooo her..wahahahaha..esp tt red hot ears...keke..and she looked really really really tired today..although closin was done swee swee b4 12am...and yes. a sweet surprise i gt. tat thing was sweet itself..but the taste was sweeter den wad i usualli ate...=) hurr..it juz takes the smallest little thing to make someone's day..hee..
and yes. faith is all wad i hav in my mind nw. its juz the basic thing tt keeps it going..so. i shall nt think abt anything nw...its like. the trust is dere man. so..wads all the deep thoughts for..? although somehw or rather. i will still go back to tat contradicting me. arghhhh.arghh.
bad bad bad.
i accidentally fell off that cliff le.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005 / Tuesday, December 27, 2005
didnt meet her fer dinner today. as usual. she always giv me last min notice of going fer dinner. haha..but i am like alrdy on my way hme frm wrk..anyway..it had been a tiring day fer me also so i guess its nt a bad idea to go back early to stone.yep.mum was shocked. but can see tt she's happy to see me hme early fer once..haha..den i dunno why she kept staring/stoning at me? errr..its so freaking..haha..guess she realli miss the lovely daughter of hers..hurrr.was stuck at the corner of the shop fer the entire day..packing the cardboard and all the dresses. argh..realli like so remoted dwn dere...but i dun mind actualli..cuz i dun hav to care a hoot abt the customers...n..no encounters with any xiao long nus fer the day..yay! hmm..1/2 thru the day. she called and was realli damn upset/angry/agitated abt wrk. haiz..its been hard on her mann.. well. i decided nt to harp on the upsetting matter so i kept thinkin of ways to cheer her up...hee..which i always believe is the best cure fer all anger prob. bt wadever it is. i will always be dere to let her vent out her frustration on..=) such a nice and kind soul here mann..
went back hme. finally gt the chance n time to open up all my christmas prezzie..haha..i noe its abit late but..i cant help it! hmmm..i love all the things mann..thanks ppl! oh..den i began to indulge myself in all the chocos. haha..esp wad leo gave me...so unique can..the wonka choco is yummy..was eatin that n some other chocos while chatting with her..chatted quite some stuff fer the night...felt better after all the sharing and hearing...but still...i cant control my thoughts abt negative things, my fear, worries and things lidat. haiz..so i guess i'll see hw things goes ba...but all i noe is tt no matter wad happens, i will juz let things be ah. haiz..nvm..wadever la..let it be. let it be. let it be.
ok..well..its a freaking 3 hrs on the phone i think..haha..crapping.seriousness.craps again..haha..and yes. she's slpin like a dead log nw i think. i am gonna suan her and blame her like shit tml cuz. she actualli dozed off when i am STILL happily talking to her larrr!!!...eeew....hw hw hw considerate hurr..HMPH. shall prepare my weapon ltr to deal with her le.
i am STILL.
really really really scared.
Monday, December 26, 2005 / Monday, December 26, 2005
ah hah..after work ended at parco. connie's bf was kind to giv me a lift to pontini..haha..went to visit eileen as well as to wait fer her to knock off. had a free drink and a niceee cheesecake. hurr.. fat bear nizam was suaning me tt i am beginnin to treat pontini as a charity place cuz i seemed to go there quite often fer food..though i aint wrkin? haha..hack la..i'll juz be ke qi and eat mannn.
hmm...eileen pang seh me fer the coffee chill out session tt me ange and her agreed to..hw sad. but on behalf she served me the cakey..she was entirely forgiven! heee.. okok..oh..we left abit latr cuz she found out tt T55's table cloth was dirtied..so hada reset again. helped her tidy up the napkin section abit b4 we left. after a long time deciding whr to go fer light makan..we decided river valley...n can u imagine. she's so freaking lazy to walk n suggested taking a cab dere..argh. but due to my nagging..she had no choice but to walk with me. haha..
ended up sitting at the dumpling place beside spize..cuz she wanted to watch soccer. oh..had dumplings and tofu..niceee. hmm..we were happily talkin non-stop abt everything i guess..haha..my best entertainer after all..lalala. i even came up with a dramatic love story when i stoned at 3 lizards. hurr...
yes. i was complainin to her abt my wrk..hw all the consecutive encounters with 4 xiao long nus in a row made me so irritated..argh. den these 2 ppl hada walk past n 1 of em started talkin. i was like. oh damn. it makes 5 nw.
as usual. i gt sent back hme safely. hurr. n. hahahahaha. i cant imagine we said things tt we dun usually say. like duh? so i went back hme and realli stoned and wonder why. i believe the same goes to her anyway. hahahahahaha.putting aside all the fear. the worries i had.
i think i am realli happy and contented.
i couldnt ask fer more le. =)
Sunday, December 25, 2005 / Sunday, December 25, 2005
christmas was a unique one this yr..haha.on the eve..met up the the gals..like ard 10?! haha..could hav meet up like earlier but i realli realli hada do all my last min christmas prezzie shoppin..argh. i noe it sounds very NOT sincere..but juz couldnt help it..argh. theres like freakingly no time mann..esp my work timing is like the normal shoppin time?had dinner at pepper lunch..den all of us headed to chang's hse fer chill out.. special in the sense christmas wasnt spent and count down-ed at orchard..i took a freakin 1/2 hr to walk frm wisma to orchard station can!!! eeeew. so irritating cuz i am with all the big carriers. -__- met all the gals. long time no c. haha. but i guess everythin shld be pretty ok by nw. i hope.caught up things with yicheng abt pontini n stuff lidat..wanted to share stuff with cousin but was busy gossipin with yc..=p
den we reached chang's hse.. the guys started majong immediately...left us gals in the room.. but it was gd to be able to meet up after so long though. den fi came followed by xuan. chilled fer awhile..den exchanged our prezzie! hurr..somehw or rather. though we did nth much..but i seemed to enjoy alot. haha..well...abt 1230..went off with dione..she went hme while i proceeded to pontini fer the mini cele..met ed there. he wanted to leave but stayed fer the dinner in the end. yes. truth were out. heard frm wa abt every1's reaction..so...let it be den. as long as i am contented n i noe wad i am doin..its more den gd enuff..ok..i da-ed 2 glasses of red wine. and a bottle of beer. didnt noe speed can kill. arghh. ended up pretty messed up..esp in the toilet. said lotsa things to her and stuff lidat. haiz..okok..den guess wad. me her and chris, the 3 of us spent the night in the hotel's rm in the end..haha..cuz there's like pretty no way fer me to get hme..-__-
ok.christmas. argh. i hada work on tt day..hw sad. met her and her sis fer dinner at dan ryans'. cool chill out place. had dinner with that pink christmas hat...haha..felt so much comfortable after removing it mann..leo had the red 1 on her..she felt the same too..haha..well..i tout tt the dinner was great. at least i am contented. which i am pretty easy with it..
den chris came to join us..went to party world fer ktv. i was nua-ing fer the whole time hearing them crap and chris was disturbin leo like hell..haha..irritatin shit. left the place at ard 5...leo's tired..so i asked ange to go back with her sis first...n i can get back hme myself..den i waited with chris till 6 fer bus hme..meanwhile chatted with him abt her and stuff lidat..i was pretty frustrated though..esp when i am so tired and worried abt things. argh.if i could ever hav any regrets in my life.
tt would oni be in my dreams.
but i am definately certain tt i am in reality nw.
Friday, December 23, 2005 / Friday, December 23, 2005
fine fine fine.
i am freakin used with nasty words.
so say all u wan.it doesnt matter anymore since i ALREADY doubt the understandings that we all used to have.
its oni certain pitfalls of life tt u get to realise who r the ppl whom realli understood u.listen to u and not pass nasty comments. wadever den.the coolest part has nt yet to come though.sharing these with her makes her feel like a burden. which i hate to make ppl feel tt way.
i regretted sharing. didnt noe it would bring out so many thoughts. so i guess i'll let it be. since i already mentioned about being prepared and everything. i juz noe this day is gonna come..but juz didnt expect it to be due to this irritatin issue.like who can freakin teach me wad to do. ya. nw i noe its a gd thing to keep everythin to myself.
i juz wana be alone. felt like throwin my phone away. let me see another disappointing msg n i might simply go bonkers. let me indulge in my wrk fer nw man. christmas seemed so vague at this very moment. so we'll see hw it goes fer the nxt few days den.
ok. maybe i shld stop being a gd host and start ushering ppl out of my life. if tts wad they wan.
i realli realli care more about how she feel.
but would she understand.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005 / Tuesday, December 20, 2005
so much happenings lately. times passed so fast n its like christmas again.
the thought of him is diminishing which i dunno why too. juz so completely diff frm an exact yr ago..
sis was disappointed with me and stuff lidat. -__- nvm..its juz sooo understandable. but it juz freaking irritates me esp when she preaches at my lowest pt of time..haiz.
to chase all these troubles away..i had a shoppin spree with xuan last sat..haa..its soooooo great. at least it divert my attention away frm those complicated issues. was stuck at mango fer 3 whole hrs. but we werent pissed off..tts the relievin part although u can only move at a speed of 2cm/s. discounts were everywhr and we bought smt literally every store tt we stepped into.
after tt met her and her sis fer a light dinner..den headed to meet wendy..*u shld hav seen my look upon knowin we r gonna meet her..haha..cuz shes 1 of the scary ppl at pontini tt scolds me but left me laughing...so..i realli admire her. hurr...after tt met fadz and gang at next pg. chatted quite abit abt unhappy things at work. she was affected i can see. hw i wish i can hav her 3/4 of anger.
yes. she seemed to be on a high lookout fer jobs at mel. which i felt happy fer her. as long as she can step away frm that upsetting place. nothin matters though..although this can oni meant another not so happy issue. nvm....hack la.
tat uncertainty was smehw being reduced. but nevertheless..its still dere. i juz hope it doesnt branch out like a energetic tree. so ya. juz let me live with all the stoning now. while preparing fer major changes in life again.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005 / Tuesday, December 13, 2005
its really really really tiring today.
ha.i was freakingly late fer bca project discussion.reached there abt 1 when its supposed to be 10..gosh loh..and the retarded thing is i actualli slept in the toilet...-__- fer an hr! all thanks to mum who banged the door as an alarm to me..hurr..hmm..finally bca is over! oh. i think she likes my name.. kept asking me qns abt the project. argh..but still..its manageable..decided nt to work today. juz wanted some time to chill or smt..met wa abt 5 at our fav cafe in sch..so niceee..so relaxing..hurr...juz gt so much to catch up with her...i still love her retardedness.. and ya. she's simply a gd partner to stone with me..*cheers.den headed to hotel to meet her. she had dinner at kopitiam..saw her beng fren..so animated..haha..its juz forced out tt last bit of energy of mine to laugh...argh..couldnt help it..oh.last night. met her after wrk too. i think i caused her to wonder smt abt insecurity. was trying to avoid answerin as i didnt wana bomb tt chill out mood. she seemed unhappy though..haiz.. hmmm..hope it doesnt make her feel bad or wad..cuz its juz smt abt me alone..shes REALLY REALLY niceee..*except e fact tt her buaybaness can make me faint multiple times a day* haha..argh...nvm..i juz noe things will change soon.i dunno when....but shld be quite soon. sooo...i guess its best to live with the way things are now ba..i aint gona think abt anything.
i shall juz stay at the edge 1st b4 realli deciding if i shld fall anot.
Monday, December 12, 2005 / Monday, December 12, 2005
sis
juz came hme.
sneaked in
as usual.some stupid nets machine nearly made me go bonkers. luckily, she was there for me after work to shout out my frustration. hurr.had prata with her juz nw. she slept for the freaking whole day mann. its like oh my gosh. made me so jealous at work. HMPH. and ya, she finally ate her bruncherper. phew.which chased away my worries..haha. oh..somehw i decided to be nice and shall giv her mornin call tml..=)
haiz..i cant believe i am still up at this hr finishin the piles and piles and piles of late work..
the tout of make up lessons for IAC and LMS class this wk can make me faint instantly.
i need a break man.
and ya.
suddenly i am feeling vexed.
i realli dunno wad i wan.
juz dun felt like getting hurt again.
Saturday, December 10, 2005 / Saturday, December 10, 2005
my sis is
CRAZYshe's freaking
retarded.
but i am lucky though..-__-
argh.
and dad had been giving me
hard stares nowadays..
oh..and my blog was made to be a
discovery by the 2 retarded managers...haha...but nvm...i aint lying anyway...hurr..
i almost killed her with toxic drink juz now..
almost but haven k..
ha.
hope she doesnt curse me.lalala.
Monday, December 05, 2005 / Monday, December 05, 2005
met him at the bus stop on my way to orchard to meet her. like shit it la. some unkind greeting frm him again.arghhh. as usual. knocked into me and i tout it was done by others accidentally..-__- shit him. lalala. we met at taka fountain instead.she was late due to the continuous phonecalls..hurr..but it was fun walking ard! keke..likett nobody can hav the chance to get no frm me ma..wahahaha..=p
yay..she gt her earrings finally. phew. i tout she wanted to kidnap me to pierce my ear la..its sooo freaky pain..! eewww.
i had fun watching tom and jerry while waiting fer her to makan...den went over to acid bar to chill. i had M&Ms.nicee.hurr..
oh..kinda caused her to hav an arguement with her fren. felt so bad. arghh. wish i am 18. =(
...but its still ok! cuz the day still ended with a =)finally gotten over the past.
yay!
it me.me.and my new life.
*cheers*
Sunday, December 04, 2005 / Sunday, December 04, 2005
hurrr..haav been hanging out with da ge jie at acid bar lately..and pontini colleagues..nice to chill out with these ppl..all so fun loving..hee..
yesterday fazi bday..celebrated fer him at ktv..haha..and i gave him some pranky sweet i bought frm party'us' at holland..haha..he's so cool! as in he had tt kinda determination to finish it up..not like some ppl whu juz puke it out...hee..
tired mann..going slp le.
wad a life.=)
